Let The Stress Digress

  • Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
  • Me: Oh ok cool
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: This is a febreze commercial right
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh
Via oprah was here

lameboob:

lameboob:

lameboob:

how do you make someone holy

you beat the hell out of them

my 96 year old catholic grandma told me this joke

Via give me vodka and attention

(Source: best-of-imgur)


supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

Via give me vodka and attention

I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.

– Margaret Atwood (via psych-facts) Via give me vodka and attention

can u pretend im not ugly and annoying and fall in love with me

Via ig:@jawssh

oknope:

procrastination is my only talent

Via whalecum

youngblackandvegan:

lol he dropped that phone like he was in an infomercial 


ravenclawssaywhat:

this-is-horrorwood:

hey-how-ya-doing:

oomshi:

do i have a crush on you or am i just lonely

do i like you or do i like that you like me

do I like you or do I like the idea of you

do i want to be in a relationship or do i just want to prove that i’m worthy of one

Via give me vodka and attention

filthycalum:

mashocake:

5sostrum:

parudise:

I JUST SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND IM DYING OF LAUGHTER I CANT

'DO YOU OWN LESBIAN PORN?'

HAHAHAHHAHA THIS MADE MY DAY

“VAGINAL EXCRETER”


Via Capital EKS


frickhead:

ATTENTION EVERYONE IN THE LA AREA!!

My cousin, TALLON, was reported MISSING today. He is an AUTISTIC BLACK TEEN AND IS COMPLETEY NON-VERBAL. HE DOES NOT RESPOND TO HIS NAME. This young man went out for his daily bike ride, unattended, and did not come back. Tonight, HE IS IN LA BY HIMSELF. He is 6’0, 200lbs, and was last seen wearing a white t shirt and khaki shorts. PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST!!



snoopdad:

snoopdad:

now this is the kind of content i’m looking for

let’s all take a look at this again


Via Capital EKS


awwww-cute:

Otters can have fun even out of the water



joshpeckofficial:

stayathomehector:

I think my sink is clogged

i’m deleting my blog




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